My Sister is now A Sister

As I mentioned, my trip to Manila was not just a vacation, it was about my sister taking her vows to become a nun. For if it was just a vacation, I would not have made the trip and miss out on our schools sports fest, especially not missing out on the exhibition football game where teachers battle it out against the students varsity.

But because it was for a special reason, I had to leave that all behind for my sister’s special day.

Though I know what it is like to be living a religious life (even in a little way), in a way, I don’t agree that much on the decision why my sister wanted to be a sister.

Yes, I know she had a calling and all to be God’s servant. She needs to live in poverty, celibacy and obedience. But my sister had promise to become a high ranking nurse in the hospital she used to work for. Money and respect would have come with that. But yeah, material things are not enough to make us live. And maybe that was what it was about, so I understand and respect that.

Seeing my sister doing her vows, always smiling while the other sisters were not even smiling made me feel that my sister was very happy now. She was even the one who made the “Thank You” speech which kind of makes it look like she was the Valedictorian of her batch, and that made me feel proud.

Such a situation with my sister made me remind of a friend of mine who was hooked on drugs in his high school life and when he went to rehabilitation became a born again Christian pastor – something which is different to a lot of us.

The thing is, there are a lot of things that I do not truly agree on about my friends and relatives and how they live their lives. But as long as they are happy about it, as long as they were not forced to do something against their will and it gives them a reason and purpose to live, then I am up for it.

I think that is what family and friends are for, we support and accept each other even if we sometimes do not agree with how they live their lives.

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Metro Manila vs. Cebu City

My trip to Manila was in a way different because it is not just that it has been a long time since I was in Manila, it was also the first time I went there with my wife and that made the experience special.

I love going back to Manila, this is because they have a lot of things to visit there. They have their art galleries and cultural structures that can really inspire passion and make you value history. They also have their music bars that feature a lot of Pinoy rock bands that remind you that most of the great artists now are not seen on television or heard on the radio.

It is a good thing to know that bands like The Jerks and Razorback are still rocking out in ones of these bars in Manila. It kind of says to you, that as long as there are fans and a venue, no one is too old to rock and roll.

I love Manila because of the schools as well. U.P. Diliman is there as well as Ateneo, La Salle and UST. I also love Manila for their trains and buildings. It is just a different skyline out there in Manila.

But the most I love about Manila because it reminds me of Cebu. The way these two cities are so different. Manila, is just so big while Cebu is just small. Manila is just so cold with all its buildings. There aren’t that many trees and plants out there in Manila. With Cebu, it just feels homey. Yes, we have our buildings but we also have our trees beside our buildings. And add the nearby beaches, then that just makes it great.

Then when you come to Manila there is also that creeping feeling that Cebu might in the future be another Manila. That would mean, Cebu City would inherit the smog, the sewer problems and the traffic. That future might even be closer now than before with all the condominiums rising now which means more people with cars living in the city. That future might even be much closer now especially the little Ondoy-esque floods at Mandaue and A.S. Fortuna giving us a little taste of what is to come.

So as I come back to Cebu, I hope our Mayors do solve the sewer problems for real. I do hope that with the rise of the condominiums they also anticipate the traffic problem that will come with it.

And especially for us artists, I also hope that one day Cebu City will have a lot of art galleries and a stable art scene. I also hope that rock bars will sprung up and help stabilize the music scene and not just be a boom and fade away music scene because there is a new fad coming out.

I love Manila because it reminds me of Cebu. I love Cebu because the city is some kind of an underdog. There are a lot of great people here who do not get the recognition they truly deserve.

Bottom line, Manila is a great city where as Cebuanos, we can learn their mistakes and avoid it especially when it comes to urban planning. Bottom line is, Manila is a great place to visit, but a true blue Cebuano would not want to live there.

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Fr. Rey Garcia and the Seminary Life

I went to Manila last week to attend my sister’s vows for sisterhood, which I found to be an inspiring moment for me: being in a convent reminded of my days on the seminary.

Convents and seminaries are all similar in a way. They have their schedules, their rules, their discipline and their camaraderie. And the camaraderie with my fellow seminarians back then was one of the things I really miss most.

I sometimes even tell myself that I did not have a high school life, I had a seminary life.

It was a formative time of my life. I learned a lot of basics in sports such as soccer, volleyball and basketball as well as learning about music like playing the guitar and the keyboards. I too learned a lot of values, self discipline and organization. These were strong values that truly prepared me during my college life and after.

It was a formative time in my life and it was made easier because of my fellow aspirants such as Ondo Villordon, Butch Reyes, Arnel Salacao, Jojo Villacorta, Jv Lee, Omar Socias, Richard Entera, Mark Mesina, Lawrence Lozada, Ryan Navarro, Raymund Garcia, Nandi Vicoy, Ian Cabellon and many other guys that helped during those times. And of course, the seminary experience would never be the same to the priest who comes close to a father figure for me, Fr. Rey Garcia.

Fr. Rey was a great mentor; he truly thought us a lot and really cared for us. He was very strict, but he was strict for the right reasons. I miss the guy and hope someday I would have the chance to see and talk to him again.

That is why when I was looking at my sister and she was very happy with her life always smiling and all, it was the camaraderie and the lessons I learned and felt back then that I truly remembered when I saw my sister.

A surreal thought even passed me by that I could one day go back to the seminary and pursue priesthood. But I told myself that would be impossible because first of all I am already married and second, even though I would love to go back because of the companionship and all, the priesthood and seminary life is not just that. There are religious beliefs and principles involved that as of know I am not fully ready to commit and believe any longer.

So everything is on the past now. We move on and we live our lives but if I had to do it all over again, I would still want to be a high school seminarian. I would not be the man I am now without it.

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College Sweethearts

The topic here is most likely a continuation of my last week’s Friday article.

So, if I say that the standards change, does this mean that all students now especially in college who have special relationships will break up? Not necessarily.

As all relationships, those who survive are the ones that have a strong foundation of why they got together. Of course, stuff like I got a crush on him because he was a star player, the president of the organization or in a band are okay. These kinds of reasons maybe superficial but they are the characteristics that get our attention.

But, such characteristics are temporary, they change so this means that students who are in a relationship must make their relationship much deeper by focusing on the foundation of making a strong relationship. These can be like: do the both of you mesh together or communicate well, or do your negatives attitudes outweigh the positive attitudes and so on and so forth.

Again, superficial characteristics, though not strong reasons to be in a relationship, are still important because they are the ones that get attention but you still need to work on building a stronger foundation for your relationship.

Another way in order to stay as sweethearts after college is to talk about your future. This can be done by planning your future realistically and when he or she has a very unrealistic plan that may be a signal that you won’t last long after college. This is especially true when the plan has no plan B.

Then also talk about the reality that the standards, the basis of you liking someone changes. Because when you start talking about it, you start facing reality and realizing that being in love is not forever. And you can also realize that your basis of your liking each other is very temporary, it changes. If one can fall in love, one can also fall out of love.

So to students who really want to be in a relationship now, especially kids in college, think of where your relationship is going and if you like what you see, then start working on building a strong relationship.

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Odom and Emma: High School Sweet Hearts?

As usual, when it comes to high school there will always be puppy love going around. And this is normal, kids always want to grow up fast and one thing to show that they have grown up is to have relationships with the other sex. Little do they know that such things do not normally last. As far as I know, it is mostly impossible to sustain a relationship from high school to college and after it.

Things just do not last because along the way people and the standards change. For example, when in high school you got a crush on someone because he or she was the star player on the high school varsity team. But when he/she goes to college, he/she may no longer be the star player…will you still love him? Or her? Same goes with college, what if he or she was the president of your organization, that was the basis why you liked her but then after college, his or her leadership skills cannot produce a high paying job, will you still love him or her?

If you still have a hard time understanding this concept, try watching the Wedding Singer, where Adam Sandler’s (character) girlfriend liked him because he was the singer of the band but when it comes to a job after college, he was only a wedding singer. Dreams of rock and roll stardom died, so Adam Sandler and his girlfriend changed. And this could happen to all high school and college students too.

But of course, because high school and college sweethearts usually are in their love bubbles, they don’t listen to you when you start warning them about this. They might even hate you for it or accuse you of meddling with their lives or what. So they just go on, and continue to be inside their love bubbles.

With such concepts in mind, this does not mean that when I hear a high school student liking someone I will not support him or her. In a way, yes, if that high school student truly does have feelings for someone even if they don’t truly understand those feelings then go on, court your crush. As long as you don’t disobey your parents or it lowers your grades, fine.

But if it were up to me, especially when I see two students that are compatible meaning that in a very small standard, like they just look cute together, I would not advise that they be in a special relationship. It is because again, when their relationships pass high school, college and after, it may not be able to survive. So they will just break up in the end.

The good thing would be to just be friends for now, get to college and stay as friends, meet other people then maybe around the last school year they could be in a special relationship.

But because these kids are still in high school, they won’t even plan that far, for that long ahead. So again, even if will I say I told you so in the future , they are still going to go for it. That is just part of growing up. Kids.

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My Korean Students

One of the discoveries to my job as a teacher is getting to know a lot of Koreans. From first to fourth year high school, I have known a lot of Koreans and I might say they have changed my perception about them.

This is because my first impression about Koreans is kind of like connected to the arrival of Vietnamese back then; where they got our education (especially about planting rice) from us and then they returned home and developed their rice industry – which is now more developed compared to our own country’s rice industry. And this might happen to Koreans as well. They learn English and other stuff from us and then maybe use it on the development of their country.

Learning from other countries is not bad at all, and our system of government is mostly to blame if we do not properly maximize our own advantages. And if Koreans and other tourists want to learn from us especially knowledge that is valuable to them then we have to teach them about it.

So what has changed about my perceptions about Koreans? Well first of all, because I am not really that good at speaking the English language, I find the Koreans students easy to talk to. They also have a good sense of humour so a lot of jokes get passed around when I talk to my Korean students. So it makes it a lot easier when I talk to them.

Then second, most of my Korean students (mostly the girls) are very good in drawing. So they are very attentive in my class and usually do not create disturbances. However, I do find it weird that the Korean girls are very good at drawing while the Korean boys are not. It must be something about the culture.

The plus factor about the Korean boys is that they play football, and that is one thing we can agree about.

So in a way, for now, I like my Korean students for the reasons I have stated above. Now, the question is, will Koreans be a threat to our country one day especially in terms of being another option for the Western world to market or outsource their products? Yes, that is a sure possibility.

But, even with that thought, I am a teacher today and I cannot worry or live in the future. I am a teacher right now and I cannot choose to have favourites when I teach. Korean, Japanese, American or Filipino, as long as they willing to learn, then I have to teach them even if they become future competitors to our country.

And if it does come to that, that Koreans will be compete against Filipinos especially in the field of outsourcing then it is not their fault. It is the fault of the system of the Philippine government for not making sustainable developments in our country and just relying on other countries to boost our development.

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Pinoy Rock Will Survive

So Bamboo has disbanded. Nu107 is out. And Rico Blanco is an actor. These must be tough times for Philippine rock music. But still it will not be enough to kill it. Yes, I believe such bad news is not enough to kill it. And there are a lot of reasons why I say that.

For one, Rock music, as a form of expression that is the most rebellious, will always find a way to survive. As long as there are kids and grown-ups out there with angst, those who want to rebel at something, Rock music will survive.

Rock music has always been the music of choice of rebels because it is a music that shows the bad side of a lot of things. It talks about depression, anger, insecurities, confusion that the youth need to let out. Rock music has never been radio-friendly. Pop music can never give this to the young, that is why Rock will be there to let it all out for us.

Then another reason why rock music will continue is that for some, it may be bad news to no longer have a Rico Blanco or a Bamboo for the music scene but it also is an opportunity for other rock musicians to fill out the void these bands and rock gods have left. So it is all not bad for us because it is a chance for other bands coming from different places and regions to step up. The old will always be replaced by the new. And now is the time to do it.

Such change has been experienced before when bands such as Eraserheads, Wolfgang, Yano and Razorback disbanded. Their end was a beginning to a lot of bands to get their limelight. Bands such as Urbandub, Itchyworms, Parokya ni Edgar and Slapshock filled that void.

So it can be bad news, yes, but there is always a light at the end of the Pinoy rock tunnel, and that light means opportunity for a lot of aspiring rock bands out there.

Then another way that may insure the survivality of Rock music is through old timers forming new bands. Examples of these are Bamboo Manalac forming Bamboo and Ely Buendia forming Pupil. Other bands similar to these are Sandwich and 6 Cycle Mind. So again, death nay come but there is also birth. So there really is no need to worry.

Rock music survived Martial Law, it survived the 80s, a time when The Dawn was the only popular band. It survived the break-up of the Eraserheads, Yano, Wolfgang, Razorback and many more 90s bands. Rest assured it can survive this.

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How to be Insensitive

There was a time while I was riding a taxi that I had this realization. I am not making this up to shock you. This was weird but this is true. This is how the story goes.

So as I said, there was a time while I was riding a taxi going to work that I experienced such a realization. With its radio and air conditioner on full blast, the taxi stopped on the highway and beside the highway were shanties with dogs and people going their way. I did not mean to do it but I was just looking outside and I just stopped and started to look at dog poo. Yes, I was looking at dog poo, staring through the glass at it about two to three minutes and I really did not know why.

Then it hit me, because my whole senses did not experience the whole thing because of the radio and air conditioning blocking the other senses, dog poo seemed “un-yucky”…I perceived it akin to the blue colored gooey toys kids now like to play with. Dog poo was just like that, with only the eyes having to experience it, dog poo was just like that – normal like a gooey toy. It was not ugly and you just accepted it, not wanting to clean it or what.

It was weird but it was true.

Then if you think about it more, riding cars or taxis, going to the malls with their radio, glass walls and air conditioner is a nice way to distance yourself from what is outside, to block you from feeling, to make you insensitive to the dog poo, to the issues and problems going on outside.

It is an effective and enjoyable way to learn how to be insensitive, because you do not feel guilt over it because you are having fun. Cool, huh?

Thinking about it more, it reminded me of my good friend Maumau Galinato’s winning artwork for the Joya Awards way back. Sorry that I forgot the title of the artwork but the painting depicted a rainy night with kids begging on the street to people in their air conditioned cars. Maumau Galinato’s message on this artwork was to let us see the differences between the haves and the have-nots. It was a sensitive painting from a sensitive man. Cool artwork.

So back to my topic, so again if you want to be insensitive, have fun doing it, and feel no guilt, ride a taxi and go straight to the mall. Cool.

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The Sto. Nino and Cebu

I heard an explanation once during typhoon Ondoy, the explanation was about why the other regions like Manila or Leyte experience great floods or great typhoons while Cebu did not.

It goes that Cebu is blessed to have all the good weather because our province and city is protected by the Senyor Sto. Nino. We are the ones who worship Sto. Nino and celebrate Sinulog, and this is why we are blessed with the fine weather.

As much as it sounds real awesome to be protected by the Sto. Nino, it also sounds pretty bad because it would appear that other people suffer because they do not have the Sto. Nino. And secondly, it would appear as if other saints are lame because their devotees get the ire of a super typhoon?

If the explanation or the whole story is true, then the best way then would be to get the entire nation to celebrate Sinulog (instead of just Cebu alone); so every region can get protection from Sto. Nino, right? Other regions celebrating fiestas or other devotions no longer need to have the Black Nazarene or the Ati-atihan, the whole country can all have the Sinulog! If we do that, we would all have good weather, no more typhoons, right?

So why are the other regions not doing this then? Don’t they want protection from the bad weather?
There are lot of questions and possibilities if this explanation is really true to all of us. Would we as Cebuanos share the Sinulog to other regions thus the celebration would no longer be exclusive to us? This would mean that tourists would no longer have a reason to come visit us during third Sundays of January, are we alright with that? If this happens, Cebu will no longer be unique. No more bragging about the mother of all festivals that is the Sinulog.

Do we want to share the Sinulog (thus giving up the rights to its exclusivity) so everyone would have the protection that the Sto. Nino gives? Or are we not ready for this?

And if we are not ready to give up the Sinulog then, is it fine, then, that we stop spreading such kind of explanation and give a more rational, realistic explanation instead? I mean no disrespect to the power of a festival like Sinulog and certainly, I mean no disrespect to the Sto. Nino and of its devotees. I chose this particular topic because I want to point out how people can sometimes come up with the craziest explanations for events and certain phenomena; how people seemingly omit rationality.

We can begin with grounded explanations such as: “typhoons and bad weather now are caused by Global warming and bad sewage planning”. Or the explanation that “Cebu is at the middle of Leyte, Bohol and Negros which means that we are do not feel the whole power of typhoons coming from the Pacific and other oceans”. Can we do this instead, so we won’t sound selfish to other regions? So we, as Cebuanos, will not be put in a bad light.

So as we celebrate the Sinulog, think about it.

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Only Yes and No Questions Please

There is a conversational skill that everyone needs to learn especially if you need to relate to people and avoid irritating them. This is the skill of asking only yes and no questions.

Yes and no questions involve you asking someone questions that are only to be answered with, you guessed it: yes and no. This means that you do not ask questions that involve long answers. This means no why, what, where, when, who and how questions.

If you need to ask this type of questions, you need to pattern your questions by making it long. For example, if someone is in pain, you ask her or him a question like, “Are you in pain?” (yes or no), “Is your pain in the shoulders?” (yes or no), “Is your pain in the hands?” (yes or no).

Now, as you can see, because someone is in pain, it would be unrealistic for her or him to be answering long answers and giving explanations to you, so you need to adjust make it easy for someone in pain to communicate to you so you need to ask yes and no questions. Another thing that makes yes and no questions easy is that they can be simply answered with a nod. So if someone is really in pain, he or she is unable to speak then by a simple nod to your yes and no questions you can already communicate.

So what are other situations we can use the yes and no questions? Other than talking to people in pain, other situations would involve if someone is sleeping or already asleep and you need to ask that person a question. Use the yes and no question here. Have you ever experienced someone letting you explain something while you are already sleeping or about to sleep? It was irritating wasn’t it? Now if that person was just asking the yes and no question, it would have been easy.

Another situation is when you are talking to an angry or irritated person like most love quarrels situations are about. To people who are in this kind of special relationships, yes and no questions are very important because most angry and irritated people do not want to talk so yes and no questions would be ideal because it only involves again nods and short answers.

An example for this situation would be like, “Did I offend you?” (yes or no) or “Was it because I was doing something while you were talking?” (yes or no) or “ Was it during while I was texting?” (yes or no) .
So as you see, things are easy for an angry, irritated, sleepy person or someone in pain to communicate with you if you present your questions like this.

Now, what is the very important trait you need to have if you are to be very successful with using yes and no questions? The most important trait is that you need to be sensitive to people’s feelings and be aware of things like body languages and facial expressions to know if someone is sleepy, in pain, irritated or angry.

If you are sensitive and be able to read people even without them talking to you, this would make you very effective with the yes and no questions. But if you are not sensitive and aware of even basic body languages then a lot of people will easily get irritated at you.

So next time be sensitive, stop irritating people and only ask yes and no questions if the situation calls for it.

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Going to the Dentist

I’m planning to go the dentist one of these days to get my teeth cleaned. I think it has been a long time since I went to the dentist, so I should take this seriously before my teeth start dropping off on me.
So while I was thinking about it which dentist to go to I had also found out in the process that I know a lot of dentist friends. There is my high school batch mate Gunther Seroy. There is also a sister of one of my players from U.P. Cebu before, Pam Fernandez. There is also a grade school batch mate of mine from USJ-R, Jill Sarvida and lastly a teammate of mine from the Fine Arts team that after graduating the Fine Arts course proceeded to take dentistry, this would be Ian Pehzman.

So with all the dentist friends that I have, which one should I go to? To be frank about it, I wouldn’t go to any of their clinics. You wonder why? Well, let me explain it to you.

The thing is I find it weird to open my mouth and have my teeth poked around by someone I know. I compare such a situation to confessing my sins to a friend that has become a priest now. Or to let my wife go to an OB-gyne doctor who is also a friend of mine. It is just weird.

Two reasons why it makes it weird, one is that it is just uncomfortable to have someone know something about you and you don’t know something about him or her, especially when it involves secrets like having bad and dirty teeth.

Having bad or dirty teeth is something personal, it’s like letting people in to your personal space. And showing it to friends just makes me uncomfortable.

But of course, since I have a lot of dentist friends I also would like to be one of their customers and support them in way at their jobs. So in the future, when I have kids I would let my friends be their dentists. That would be fine by me as it involves no invasion of my personal space. Yeah I know I’m sensitive but that is just me.

By the way, it was last year that I had thought of this topic while I was talking to my batch mate Gerald Ortiz in one of our reunions. We both agreed that we won’t let our friend dentists to check our teeth.

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The Truth about Recognition pt. 2

It is advised that if you have just stumbled on this article to read the first part so as to understand what the topic is about. Thanks

So I say, there are two important recognitions that a teacher needs to have in order to feel that he or she is fulfilled. One, is the recognition that a teacher gets from his/her employers. This is the salary he or she is given, a salary that is equal to his/ her effort. A salary that makes a teacher not feel cheated.

Second, is the recognition from his/her students. In fact, students who express their gratitude to their teacher is the highest recognition not financial a teacher will always value for. To know that their students came out to express their thanks for teaching them, is one of the best feelings a teacher can have. This is way better than plaques or awards because students thanking teachers is something that is real and it really feels good.

Gratitude does not even mean popularity. Because teachers can be popular because they gave way to the wishes of their students and may result to popular teachers afraid to teach young kids difficult lessons or not reprimanding them for being foolish. Even if there are just two or three students thanking their teachers, that is already enough.

Even if a teacher is strict, as long as students learn something from him/her, then well and good. Of course, students do not value discipline when they are young. It takes time for students to value strict teachers.

I used to hate my college teacher Prof. Karl Roque for his strictness. But as I grew up, I thank Sir Karl Roque for trying to implement discipline especially in a course such as the Fine arts where every young artist thinks that freedom without discipline is the rule. Sir Karl Roque brought balance to our course. He did a good job about it. And he did this to a college where academic freedom is highly valued. Sir Karl did a good job and I thank him for that.

So to conclude, the only recognition that a teacher will feel is real is when her/ his superiors give a salary, benefits and all that is truly equivalent to his value, a salary where a teacher does not feel that he or she is being cheated.

And second, the recognition from his or her students. We cannot expect students to give money to their teachers to express their gratitude. That is just weird in a way. A simple thank you from a student will do.
The fact that a teacher sees a student developing and becoming a good person is already something fulfilling to watch for teachers, whether or not that student expresses gratitude.

Plaques and rewards are good, but without these two real expressions of recognition, plaques and rewards are all just fancy chiseled wood and pretty paper…and nothing more than that.

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The Truth About Recognition pt. 1

As people, teachers also need to be recognized for their contributions in society because they play a major and significant part in developing the young.

Without our teachers we would not have learned anything in school. Even if a school has the most sophisticated facilities around, a very remarkable teaching program or curriculum, all of these would still be nothing without the teachers who teach and implement the plan of the school. I think it is safe to conclude that, without qualified teachers, a school’s reputation would go down.

Parents who enroll their kids in school do look at the facilities of the school, but they also ask the educational attainments of its teachers and their turnover rate.

That is why, school administrations and even a lot of companies do continue to give credit to teachers or their employees by giving them awards or plaques to know that they are important. Recognition also makes teachers or employees feel good thus discouraging them to look for another job.

The bad thing about this, a lot of this recognition is empty soundbites.

What do I mean about this? The thing is, though I know how good it feels it to be recognized, by accepting awards or plaques, at the end of the day it is still the financial rewards and benefits that a company gives to its employers that will be the final say if an employer or a teacher feels recognized or decides to go and look for another job.

I remember something like this was done during President Fidel V. Ramos term where he started to recognize OFW’s as the “Bagong Bayani”, the new heroes of our country for the revenues they give to the country that keeps our Philippine economy afloat. Of course that sounded good, to be called a hero is very prestigious. We even do this with our war veterans.

But the bottom line, our country still has not solved the issues OFWs face when they go abroad. There are already many stories coming out about the cruelty their foreign masters do to them, still these injustices have not been resolved.

Same as war veterans, they do are respected as heroes, but they don’t have the financial benefits, that they need in order to keep on living.

So what is the use of getting recognized if at the bottom line, we all know it is just talk? So what is the use of all of these recognition when at the end of the day, we cannot eat it. We do get recognized but without the financial salaries and bonuses, 13 month pays, medical benefits, insurances and whatever, talk still feels empty.

Let us be realistic here. Have you heard of someone wanting to go to work so to be given plaques and awards? We work to get paid, and that is the bottom line.

(Just a clarification, if I do say the term, “Bottom line,” I am not trying to follow Boy Abunda here. That quote was made famous by the iconic wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin. So I got it from him. Am I defensive? You betcha. Hehe)

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To complain or to protest pt. 2

One other characteristic about complaining is that it is personal; it is something you do by yourself. That is why it is different from protesting.

The first similar thing about complaining and protesting is that you are talking against something; it could be an authority figure or whatever. The other similar thing about complaining and protesting is that people who do this look tough and intelligent. They look tough because they are brave enough to talk against something; even when it is done in secret. They look intelligent because they are able to analyze the things we normally would not see and say that it is a problem. But the similarities end there.

If complaining is done in secret, protesting is the opposite. Protesting is done out in the open. People know and see that you are standing up against the authority figure you have concerns about. Protesting is addressing your concerns to the “man” himself and letting him know about it.

Protesting is solving the problems by hitting the core – the root cause. You want these authority figures to change their assumed evil ways. And if it comes to that, you even want to change the system. You want change.

If you do not like your religions stand on society’s issues, then you protest about it, you let them know. If you do not like the corruption in government then you stand up against it, you let them know.

Then because protesting is trying to solve the problem at its cause, it will take time and it will not take a mere single individual to do it. This means that if you protest you will need patience and determination. You will not expect for the thing to be solved in a day. Change such as that is impossible.

Protesting needs the help of other people. This can only mean making an organization that will give your support so you can stand up against a common concern. This is where organizations like unions, associations or non-government organizations come out.

By making an organization, complications like leadership, dealing with other people, fear of getting kicked out of a job or humiliated or whatever connotations we all have about protesters also come into the picture.
So these are the difference about complaining and protesting. When people do this, they look tough and intelligent. The only difference about them is if they are brave enough to stand up against the authority figure they have concerns about. This is what separates the cowards and the courageous among us.

But even though, complaining seems cowardly or in secret, we still need to do it in order to achieve the emotional release we need. We just want to talk about our problems without caring if it gets solved or not.

And though complaining seems cowardly or in secret, it still needs to be done because it is the first step to protesting. Complaining is a requirement for protesting, because by complaining, other people know that you have felt the same problems as well and it is up to you if you want to act on it or not.

So what am I doing right now? I am just complaining. If I see something bad done on television, in the government, in religion or in our barangay, I just want to talk about it without caring if it gets solved or not.
I am not here trying to spark something.

Am I a coward? Sure and who cares, being brave is for heroes and I am no hero. This is me, I just want to survive and see where this life of mine goes.

No idealism, no religion, no principles here, just talk. This is all you are going to get.

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To complain or to protest pt. 1

Complaining and protesting are two different things. They may sound the same but they are different.

Complaining about something or someone is the thing people do in secret. When people complain they dare not do it in front of the people they are talking about. Complaining is in a way backbiting, complaining is in a way a form of talking against something but because it is not confrontational it really does not solve or change anything. Complaining, in a way, is a cowardly act because we are afraid to bring that concern to the people involved in fear of the consequences. Then complaining can also mean you just do not care. You just want to talk about it, but do not care enough to solve it.
So why do people complain?

People complain sometimes for the emotional release it can give. It is always a good thing to talk about your problems or worries to your friends or loved ones. A lot of these worries or problems we have are brought about from people who are in authority. Examples of these people in authority are our parents, teachers, bosses, priests and people in government like the police and politicians.

Because we cannot stand up against people in authority, we cannot tell them our problems or complains to them, we need to talk our problems about them to other people or those who are close to us to get the emotional release. That is the purpose of complaining.

Complaining does not solve the problems you are affected about because the authority figures do not know that you bear concerns about them. That is the problem about complaining: it is backbiting. We dare not bring that concern to these authority figures or we might have terrible consequences. Such consequences could lead to being kicked out of your job, excommunication when it comes to religion, or being scolded when it comes to teachers or parents.

Though complaining does not solve or change your problems, the problem being spoken here only covers the problem you have with your authority figures. Which means that because you are not telling these authority figures your concerns, they will not change for the better. So your problems about them will not change. However, you can still solve this problem by looking for another job, moving to another religion or rebelling against your parents.

Rebelling against your parents is already a form of standing up against them. You can still rebel against them even if they do not know what your problems are. You just want to express your anger in a form of your fashion, by going home late or by getting a boyfriend. Talking to them or raising your voice against them is not part of the option.

By complaining and solving your problems in another way, you are not solving the cause, you are only solving the effect of it. What bad deed these authority figures may be doing will continue to happen to other people, it will just be no longer your concern because you have already moved away from it.

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New Motto for Life

When I was young, I used to hear this positive notion that I should give my best all the time. It was really good advice, especially when you are young because at that time it was easy, I was full of hope and nothing could discourage you. Also, when you are young, you think that all people are good. So it was easy trying to give your best all the time.

But as one grows up, there comes a time that giving your best becomes tiring. This is because you learn that no one can consistently give their best all the time. You can’t put your best foot forward all the time because you also need to rest. You just want to relax sometimes.

The question also comes to mind that if you do your best all the time, the people surrounding you like you for your best. So what if you fail, will they still like you?

The thought also comes to mind that if you do your best all the time, people will always expect that from you and nothing less. So there is pressure, there is stress to always fulfil their expectations. You need to exceed your past achievements to do that. That is not a very relaxed life.

There is also the possibility, that when you do your best all the time, people will always depend on you and let you do all the work.

There is also the possibility, that because you are dependable, always giving your best all the time, you might get exploited for it.

What seems a good intention for you, people may use it for their personal selfish advantages.

With all of this being said, I have decided to not give my best foot every time. This means that I will choose when I will do my best and when to just sit back.

I am doing this in order to lessen the pressures in my life. I just want to relax and take it easy. If I do give my best, it means I truly want to do it and enjoy doing it. I must be properly motivated and very happy if I do decide to give my best to something.

People can give all their best if they want to, that is their decision and it is admirable that they can do that. I applaud them for that.

But for me, here is my new motto: I will not give my best every time. I will choose when and where I will give my best.

I just want to relax. Watch a movie.

Growing up and Long hair

Though I am not sure about this, I think every new presidential term the Philippine army always brings back to the open the topic of reinstating the ROTC. Though I am not talking about the ROTC topic here, my topic today about growing up and long hair came out because of the ROTC issue.

It was funny, because when I was going to work and listening to the radio. The radio station I was listening to was accepting callers to air out their ideas about the return of ROTC.

One caller wanted ROTC to return because a lot of male kids were already sporting long hair. What a reason! What is so wrong with long hair?

I know, I know a lot of people especially those who live under rocks among us still see men with long hair as bad apples just like the villains in movies. But of course, that is stupid. It’s all been said before: judging a book by its cover is a no-no. So I do not need to explain the topic further. Men with long hair are not all bad, as well as men with short hair are not all that good.

The way I see it, having long hair for male teenagers is part of growing up. As teenagers they are in their exploration stage. Some kids want to try playing sports, some want to try being in a band. Some want to court the opposite sex, and some just want to try long hair.

And college is a stage for this exploration because in college you can try new stuff and change yourself along the way. Growing your hair long is just another experience boys need to go through, and it does not matter if they look good with it or not. The thought that they experienced it is the important thing here. It is just growing up. Relax.

In high school, boys were always told to have a proper haircut. Then we go to the corporate world, men again will also be told to have a proper haircut. So college is the only time for males to grow their hair long. That is why; it was sad news for me when many colleges started banning their students form sporting long hair. But then again it was also good news for call center companies to allow their employers to sport long hair.

So parents, or old people, relax. There is nothing to fear. Long hair is just part of growing up and that is all there is to it.

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About Sex Education

Early this year, sex education became a hot issue when the Department of Education planned to teach it in schools, to make it part of the curriculum of this school year.

But the plan never came to light because of other sectors, especially the Roman Catholic Church protesting the plan (and let my say this, assuming that priests are really practicing celibacy, I find it weird for the church to be so knowledgeable about sex even if they do not have substantial experience when it comes to sex).

Though I do value the concerns of the Roman Catholic Church on this issue, I also do not fully agree with their alternative. Their alternative is to just let the parents do the teaching on sex education.

In an ideal society where everyone is educated and sex is no longer a taboo topic between kids and parents, the alternative of letting the parents teach their kids about sex is a good plan. But we are not living in an ideal society. A lot of parents themselves are uneducated and they do not know how to talk to their kids about sex. A lot of parents, especially from the poor, did not finish school. They are not technically qualified to teach a fragile matter such as sex. They do not even know how to talk to their kids about growing up, discipline and other issues society has.

Then add to that fact that sex is a taboo between parents and kids then the percentage of sex being explained to kids would be less. This taboo between parents and kids is the reason why a lot of us grew up learning about sex from other sources, and most of those sources were not credible so we end up having lot of misconceptions about sex.

The key word here is “education.” Young kids growing up today need to be informed about sex because the more we have information about it, the better it is for all of us. Knowledge is power. Ignorance is not bliss.
It was our national hero, Jose Rizal who told us all that education is important. And that includes sex education too.

The alternative should be complete. If the church does not want to teach sex education to students and let the parents do it then there should be an education program that teaches parents how to teach young kids about sex. If the church does not want to teach the young kids, then teach the parents.
By doing this, the information about sex will be correct. Misinformation and misconceptions about sex will be done away with.

Sex education for parents: I wonder how the parents would react to this.

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Coaching Women pt. 1

After I coached the FASO United Team for what I think was 11 years, I decided to be open to the idea of coaching the U.P. Women’s College Team.

Before this, though, I encountered a lot of bad experiences in coaching women, because during U.P. intramurals they never made a habit of listening to me. They gave an impression that they already knew what to do and didn’t need my advice. So naturally, the effect this experience had on me made me see coaching women as discouraging.

But, I thought, maybe this time, with the new U.P. Women’s team, it could be different. I also wanted to try out new experiences and challenges, so why not give coaching the woman’s football team another try, I thought.

So I did pursue coaching the U.P. women’s team and it was a great learning experience for me, especially on the topic of understanding and handling different kinds of women.

The two-year experience with coaching a team of women gave me some enough insight on how to coach women. These insights were not even of the technical sort or about the game of football. This was about the mindset the coach should adopt if and when he coaches a women’s team.
And here are the things I have learned along the way.

The first and most important thing in coaching women is that a coach needs to believe in the potential and capabilities of women, not just women athletes, but women in general. What I mean by this is that, women are seen by many as the weaker sex, so if a coach gives credence to such though, he will never believe that a woman’s team will ever improve or even be good at sports.

A coach who believes that women are the weaker sex will see a woman’s team as slow and frail. He believes that girls are slow to improve compared to a boy’s team.

On the back of his mind, he will always think that women are the weaker sex, and therefore think that it is okay for them to lose.

If a coach thinks this way, he is already limiting the potential of his team. He is already accepting a culture where losing is okay; where striving to be the best is okay. This is wrong because coaches are supposed to inspire and motivate their players. Coaches are supposed to be expecting the best from his players-whatever the gender of the team is. If a coach is not there to get the best from his players; if a coach is not there to win, what is he there for, then? To lose?

A coach for a woman’s team needs to believe in women empowerment in order to be successful at the job.

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To be open-minded

The idea of writing this came to me when in my few months of formal teaching I got to experience students who when I got to know them, were afraid of a lot of things. They were afraid to go to tree planting activities because they would get wounds. They were afraid to learn how to draw because when they were young, they were bad about drawing so they concluded that they will be bad forever. They do not want to try anymore.

I said to myself, these kids are too young to be afraid, too young to be close minded, too young to give up and lose hope.

I must be feeling very old when I say this but one of the things I have learned in life about the secrets of staying young is about retaining your open mindedness.

Being open to new ideas and experiences, is one sure way of being young.

I must be very old that I can say things like this, but as I understand it as long as we continue to learn something new then our lives will not be boring and dull. Life will always refresh us as we always become open to learning new ideas and trying out new stuff.

But, being open to new things is not always that easy because being open to new things means trying out new experiences where you could be humiliated and laughed at. And most of the time, a lot of adults are not comfortable about getting laughed at. A lot of adults are not comfortable at committing mistakes again because they think that the time for learning is over, they think that they are already too old for mistakes.
Being open to new things would also mean forgiving yourself of past faults because trying out new stuff also involves reviving our past experiences. Because this is true, our past which has a lot of hurts and pains are the ones that are stopping us from trying out new things. We are afraid to make the same mistakes again, we are afraid to go through it all over again.

Yes, we can always let our past control us and keep us in our comfort zones. But the consequences of it, is that we will be afraid, we will be bored, we will get old fast.

What are our common fears about the past? One of the common things is our experiences with relationships. A lot of us are afraid to go into new relationships because we have been hurt in the past before so we have closed our minds about it, saying that it will all be the same.

It is foolish to try again because we assume that it will all be the same.

Another common fear is pursuing our dreams and ambitions when we were children. When we were young, we had many dreams but as we grow old as we learned that in order to get our dreams we would also need to do the hard work. And by learning all of these requirements to get our dreams, a lot of us surrendered and forgot about it.

So our fears are keeping us from trying out new things. Our ideas about what adults are suppose to be are keeping us from being open minded. These fears, these ideas are making us old. Being open to trying out new things is what keeps us from being young.

So it is up to you now, do you want to grow old fast or do you want to stay young? It is your life, so you decide.

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